So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize