I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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