I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
