You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This is my gift to your gina
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
