So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
