FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
