Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
