you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
