I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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