They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
