The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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