Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
