do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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