Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
