ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wish my penis had a tongue
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
