Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
