and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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