Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
