Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
