KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize