Me too!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This is my gift to your gina
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
