God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
