If i come over, it means nothing
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
