i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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