There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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