Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
