Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
