are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
