You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
