I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
FUCK WHALES
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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