Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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