Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
do herpes really smell.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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