Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
