thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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