I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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