The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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