I got her a Nickelback box set.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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