I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
