I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
