Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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