I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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