I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
