problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
