Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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