and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
