It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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