Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
