Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
