and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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