Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize