I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
