Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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