I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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