Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Blood and glitter go together right?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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