i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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