redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
