she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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