I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Randomize
