don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
